Eight months seemed like forever before I came to Canada, and during the first few weeks I was wishing that it would just hurry up and be December already so I could go home and be back where everything is familiar, even just for two weeks. I still have bursts of that sometimes, when I see all of my home uni friends together or when I get a bad grade, but now, over two months in and halfway through this semester, all I want is for time to slow down.
I've had my fair share of lows since coming to McGill. My academic performance is far from even being considered decent and my workload is insane. Throwing that in with being so far from everything I have ever known and having to adapt to living on the other side of the Atlantic has meant that there I've had some very low moments - I've looked at countless flights back to the UK and even considered not coming back next semester.
This weekend however, my mentality has completely shifted.
It's suddenly hit me tonight (I'm writing this at 11:35pm on Sunday) that I am so incredibly lucky to be here and that I spend a lot of time feeling sorry for myself when I have nothing to complain about. Sure, my grades are nowhere near what I expected or wanted, yes I have a lot to do and yes sometimes I do just want to curl up in a ball and sleep for week, but I'm in CANADA - life is pretty damn good. In two short months I have had so many incredible experiences, I've adapted to a whole new way of working (who knew the British and American education systems were SO different?) and I've met some amazing people, all whilst making Montreal my home.
I think a lot of the reason for this sudden change in attitude is to do with the people I've met and realising that I only have a few weeks left with a lot of them. I'm living in a house with 30 people from completely different and diverse backgrounds who each bring something different to the experience. Some of them work harder than anyone I have ever met, some of them have such interesting life stories and some of them are so incredibly positive that it's hard not to feel inspired. I've always known that I would only have one semester with a lot of them with yet somehow it never really hit me until this week that in 7 weeks, it's goodbye, and with some of them it may be forever. I think it’s the fact that it's now November, and while part of me is ridiculously excited that I’m seeing some of my best friends and my family next month, the most overwhelming feeling is sadness that I will be saying goodbye to the people that have become my family over that last few weeks. The people who will be replacing them next semester have so much to live up to, and I hope to be writing a similar post to this in a few months confirming that they did.
I am so so lucky that I will be coming back after Christmas for round 2, even if I don't feel it sometimes. I needed this wake up call to remind my pessimistic little brain that although important, grades aren't everything - I can get back on track in my third year and still end up where I want to be. The experiences I am having here are so much more valuable, it's just a shame it's taken me 2 months to realise that.
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