important lessons from amazing people

The beauty of being thrown into a house with 30 other people from all over the world is that you meet and connect with people you never would have crossed paths with otherwise. I now speak to people from places like Australia, Iceland, Mexico, Chile, parts of Asia, and all over Europe on a daily basis, sharing stories, experiences and ambitions. The world is a diverse and interesting place, and having the chance to share part of my life with people who can teach me about places I never would have thought about before is a very special thing. Even those from the UK who I would consider myself similar to in many respects have changed my perspective. 
Some of the most valuable lessons I have learnt here have not come from lecturers, they have come from the people who I am living this experience with, and I am going to share some of these.

Positivity is so important
There are a handful of people in this house who have such a positive outlook on life. They find the good in every situation, and this is something that I find both inspiring and daunting. As a naturally pessimistic person I rarely see the good in bad situations and let them get me down, but somehow these people are able to turn anything into a positive situation and rarely let things get to them too much. I feel like this has rubbed off on me a bit (I want to stress the words a bit, I still like a good old moan), and I hope to be able to channel more of their attitude and gradually work towards a more positive mindset. 

It's ok to rant
On the flip side, I have also learnt that it is ok to have a rant and get things off your chest from time to time. It stops you bottling things up inside and exploding at the poor person who happens to hit a nerve on a bad day. 

What's meant to be is meant to be
This is so cliche but I have learnt from the people I have met here that if something is meant to be then it will happen. We have all ended up in this position because we are meant to be here for this portion of our lives, whether we expected it or not. Everything that has happened here and will happen here over the next few months is supposed to happen and thinking ahead/planning for the future can only get you so far. I've learnt that I need to sit back and relax a bit more and let life follow its path rather than planning every detail of my day and the months ahead. 

Culture is so important
I'm not sure as a through and through Brit I can say I'm particularly cultured. I've travelled parts of Europe and can appreciate the importance of different cultures around the world, but I'd never really realised how you can learn from being surrounded by many different ones 24/7. Even the Canadian culture has taken me by surprise as I ignorantly assumed that it would be very similar to what I'm used to. I have definitely learnt to appreciate the value and importance of culture more, and will definitely try to embrace what's left of the British culture when I get home (even if it's nothing more than sarcasm and complaining about the rain).

The world is so big, but also so small
I didn't know that it takes hours to even fly off Australia if you live in the South. I had no idea how far away I live from most of the world, and how lucky I have been to be within a couple of hours of most of Europe. This planet is huge. If I think about it too much it really messes with my head. The fact that for most of the day my Aussie friends are living in a different day to their families is crazy. Canada is massive too, Quebec is 12 times the size of the UK and driving for two hours doesn't even get you to the next nearest city. Two hours from home and I'm South of London, in Yorkshire, by the East Coast or almost in Wales. At the same time, the world is so small. I have housemates who grew up in the same area and only met here. I've met someone who knows another friend of mine from home. I'm constantly reminded of that 'It's a Small World' ride in Disneyland. 

There's more to life than grades
Echoing my last post, one of the most important things I have learnt is that there is more to life than grades. As I mentioned before, it took me a while to accept that but now I can appreciate that sometimes an experience is worth so much more and I have learnt this from the people I am living with. 

This post is slightly cringe, but as the semester draws to a close and I start having to say goodbye to some of my housemates, I think it's important to reflect on what they have taught me, whether directly or indirectly. I'll definitely be going home with different attitudes and outlooks on things thanks to being surrounded by so many different backgrounds, and I'm pretty lucky to be able to do that. 

A Change in Attitude...

Eight months seemed like forever before I came to Canada, and during the first few weeks I was wishing that it would just hurry up and be December already so I could go home and be back where everything is familiar, even just for two weeks. I still have bursts of that sometimes, when I see all of my home uni friends together or when I get a bad grade, but now, over two months in and halfway through this semester, all I want is for time to slow down.

I've had my fair share of lows since coming to McGill. My academic performance is far from even being considered decent and my workload is insane. Throwing that in with being so far from everything I have ever known and having to adapt to living on the other side of the Atlantic has meant that there I've had some very low moments - I've looked at countless flights back to the UK and even considered not coming back next semester. 

This weekend however, my mentality has completely shifted. 

It's suddenly hit me tonight (I'm writing this at 11:35pm on Sunday) that I am so incredibly lucky to be here and that I spend a lot of time feeling sorry for myself when I have nothing to complain about. Sure, my grades are nowhere near what I expected or wanted, yes I have a lot to do and yes sometimes I do just want to curl up in a ball and sleep for week, but I'm in CANADA - life is pretty damn good. In two short months I have had so many incredible experiences, I've adapted to a whole new way of working (who knew the British and American education systems were SO different?) and I've met some amazing people, all whilst making Montreal my home. 

I think a lot of the reason for this sudden change in attitude is to do with the people I've met and realising that I only have a few weeks left with a lot of them. I'm living in a house with 30 people from completely different and diverse backgrounds who each bring something different to the experience. Some of them work harder than anyone I have ever met, some of them have such interesting life stories and some of them are so incredibly positive that it's hard not to feel inspired. I've always known that I would only have one semester with a lot of them with yet somehow it never really hit me until this week that in 7 weeks, it's goodbye, and with some of them it may be forever. I think it’s the fact that it's now November, and while part of me is ridiculously excited that I’m seeing some of my best friends and my family next month, the most overwhelming feeling is sadness that I will be saying goodbye to the people that have become my family over that last few weeks. The people who will be replacing them next semester have so much to live up to, and I hope to be writing a similar post to this in a few months confirming that they did. 

I am so so lucky that I will be coming back after Christmas for round 2, even if I don't feel it sometimes. I needed this wake up call to remind my pessimistic little brain that although important, grades aren't everything - I can get back on track in my third year and still end up where I want to be. The experiences I am having here are so much more valuable, it's just a shame it's taken me 2 months to realise that. 

Dear October...

Dear October, 

You'll always be my favourite month, although this year I have definitely paid for enjoying you...

Concrete Jungle 

Of the four weekends in October I only spent one in Montreal, and that was my birthday weekend so I have had a pretty busy month!

The first weekend was spent in New York City, and was potentially one of the best weekends of my life. Going to New York has always been on my bucket list, and without wanting to sound too cliché it was literally a dream come true finally going there. The first day started in Times Square and then we went to Grand Central (I had a Gossip Girl fangirl moment), The Empire State Building, The Met (another Gossip Girl moment), Central Park, along the High Line and then 'home' to Brooklyn after dinner. My fave moment of that day was when we were up the Empire State, overlooking the city and I could see the skyline that I had seen so many times in photos. I had one of those heart bursting moments where I felt incredibly lucky to be where I was. 

Top of the Rock 

Day two was just a busy as day one. We visited the 9/11 memorial which was a humbling experience, and is such a beautiful tribute. I had the same feeling there as I did at the Anne Frank House in Amsterdam, a feeling I can't quite describe. From there we went on the Staten Island ferry and saw the Statue of Liberty, before going for lunch at Shakeshack and almost crying at how good the chips (fries) were. We then walked back to Brooklyn over the Brooklyn Bridge, where I had another heart bursting moment - it was so beautiful! That evening we went to Top of the Rock and saw New York by night from above. This was probably the highlight of the whole trip for me, it was so peaceful up there and we almost had it to ourselves because we went so late, we even got a photoshoot (shoutout to the guard who provided the torch and photography skills).

Bday with my bday twin

It rained on our last day so it was a pretty chill day. We ate at Grimaldi's Pizza in Brooklyn and then studied in a cafe opposite the Library (which was closed) before heading back to the bus station and braving the journey back to Montreal. 

The week after New York I had 3 midterm exams which were a new experience for me. They did not go well at all, whether that be down to the New York trip or just my inability to grasp the Canadian university system, we will never know (hoping it's the former else my degree not going to go as planned). That weekend was my 20th Birthday, and was one of my favourite birthdays ever. If you'd have told me last year I was going to turn 20 in Montreal, surrounded by a group of people from all four corners of the world I would have laughed in your face, but it happened and it was amazing. We spent my actual birthday at a college football game, which I didn't understand at all. I can't thank my 3653 fam enough for making my bday so special and for getting me the cutest card and gifts!

Niagara Falls

Toronto from the CN tower

From the 19th - 30th my family came over from the UK which was so lovely. We spent the first weekend in Toronto where we literally walked the whole city, and went up the CN tower which was another insane view of another insane city. Toronto is one of the most diverse places I have ever been, it's huge and I would love to go back and explore more in the future. We spent the Sunday of that weekend at Niagara Falls which was another bucket list experience. It is hard to describe the beauty of it and the pictures definitely don't do it justice. It was so nice to be able to go there with my family because it is somewhere none of us ever thought we would actually go to! It was probably one of the highlights of my Canadian experience so far, especially the boat trip which took us right up to the Falls.

Quebec City 

That week I met my family for dinner every day, and we did some typical Montreal things like going up Mont Royal and to a hockey game (which they loved). Then for their last few days here we went to Quebec City which is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been to! It is like being in a small French town which I love. The architecture was stunning and it was just such a gorgeous place, I'm definitely going back when it snows there! 

Yesterday was Halloween and also the eve of one of my housemate's birthdays (shoutout to Mother Moss) so we dressed up and celebrated. It was such a good night and was nice to celebrate Halloween in North America where it is such a massive thing. 

Mean Girls on Halloween  

Overall October was a really good month fully of a lot of travel and a lot of memories were made. My academic life hasn't been going so well and I'm not doing as well as I perhaps hoped but with the amount of travel and experiences I have had I can see why. Hopefully November will be just as good, but perhaps a bit more successful academically (I would like to actually pass this year!)

Dear September

September, where did you go?

If August was the longest month of my life then September was for sure the quickest. I feel like I blinked and it became October. 

The beginning of the month was Frosh, which is the American version of freshers. It involved a lot of activities in groups and we got to know each other and the city a lot better. My fave day has to have been beach day, the weather was perfect and I spent it with my housemates. That night we ordered food and watched High School Musical and it was probably one of my favourite days of the whole experience so far. 

Monday the 4th was Canadian Labour Day, so we had the day off and went to a food festival a the Old Port, which was really lovely. 

Classes started on the 5th and it's been non stop since then. The picture on the right was taken on Campus on the first day. As I mentioned in my last post, lectures here are so much harder than at Notts so it's been pretty intense so far!
At the beginning of the month we discovered a Ben&Jerry's shop and it's pretty safe to say we have been to a few too many times...

One of my favourite memories from the month was definitely when some of our housemates went to see "It" and we pranked them, so when they came back the house was decorated with red balloons and things from the movie. 
We had a potluck night on the 10th which was so cool, I've never done it before and it was nice to get a taste of everyone's cooking (I made a salad, poor effort Hol). 

My Canadian studies class climbed Mont Royal earlier in the month, and although I had been before the view never gets old. 

I've had a number of auditions/interviews for societies with varying levels of success, and I've settled on joining dance and salsa classes, because they are a nice break from work and don't have a huge level of commitment. It would have been nice to do something with a bit more substance but I'm so busy with work and travelling that I'm not sure I would be able to commit to it.


It was a housemates' birthday in the middle of September so we celebrated that which was really lovely. It was our first birthday as a house which made it even more exciting. On the same day we saw Justin Trudeau (Canadian Prime Minister for those of you who don't know) on the McGill campus. It was such a surreal experience!

One weekend we road tripped to Coaticook, a town about 2 hours away that has a gorge and mountains to hike. It was the most stunning thing I have ever seen and it really made me realise the size of this country. In the UK everything is close together and although there is countryside it's nothing like that of Canada, you can literally drive for hours without seeing any sign of habitation, it's so strange. Coaticook was the first (and only) time I have left Montreal so far, and it was really nice to get out of the city for a bit and see another city to Canada.

WE BOOKED A TRIP TO NEW YORK!! I am so excited because it is literally my number one dream to visit NYC and we are going next week! aaaaah

Around the 18th I started getting really homesick, something that I have been feeling for the last couple of weeks. It tailed off towards after a few days but then hit hard last week. I called my mum and two of my best friends in tears. I'm going to write a whole post about it in a few weeks to explain what is going on, but it's not been the best couple of weeks.
We have done some pretty cool things, like going on nights out, out for food and to Picnic Electronik, which is a weekly music festival in the city. I've danced, studied and met so many new people as well, but for the last few days there has always been a feeling of wanting to go home. Some of my housemates went away this weekend but I decided to stay home, catch up on some work and chill a bit which seems to have done me a world of good, I'm feeling a lot better now and I hope it continues because I hate feeling miserable.

Overall September was full of highs and lows (the highs were high but the lows were so low). I've packed so much into such a short amount of time and spent wayyy too much money along the way. I can't believe a whole month has gone already, that's 1/8th of my time here which is crazy. October is looking incredibly busy so I can't wait to reflect on it in a few weeks!!

UoN vs McGill

I was warned that McGill was very different to Nottingham but I shook it off. How different can two unis be? They're all teaching the same thing aren't they? 

I've never been so wrong. 

From day one it was apparent that this year is going to be very different. The workload has increased, it's a lot tougher, and you actually have to contribute in lectures (except they're not called lectures, they're classes with about 40 people in, as opposed to the 200+ I'm used to). This isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's just taking a bit of getting used to. Last year I did some of the reading and most of the work and still did well, here I switch off in a class for five minutes and I may as well have skipped the lecture - I'm lost. You have to do the reading, the homework and the group assignments else you lose part of your grade, and class participation and attendance is mandatory. Add a couple of midterms and times it by five for my five classes and you have my current situation - it's overwhelming. 

This all sounds negative, and though there are days when I wish I was back at Notts as an anonymous face in a lecture theatre, most of the time I feel really engaged in class and as if I am actually learning something (except finance, I'm allergic to numbers). 

Participation has proven a bit of an issue for me, as I'm generally not one for getting involved in class discussions, so this is something I am trying to work on. It's pretty daunting sitting in a room full of eloquent Canadians who form perfect sentences and make points you never would have thought of, especially when you speak your accent already differentiates you from them, but I'm working on it. I still don't think you should be graded on participation as some people just don't like to speak in a group, but it's the norm here and I'm sure I will learn to love it (one can hope!)

Midterms. There's no such thing as midterms in the UK so the thought of sitting an exam in a class I have only been in for 4 or 5 weeks is slightly terrifying. The positive thing is it has made me stay on top of work (for the most part, there is an exception to every rule and mine is always finance). It also takes a bit of pressure off in the final exam as it is not 100% of my grade, and it's rare to even have a final worth over 50% because of the continuous assessment. 

That's another thing, I am working towards my grade every single week, whether it be 1000 words reports worth 5% of my grade, a group project or even just attending a class. At home I was used to the odd group project and then a month or so of revision for the exam. I'm not sure which one I prefer yet, but I can say without a doubt that I felt a lot less stressed at home, although I do quite like having to stay up to date and on top of work as I feel like I am actually getting somewhere. 

The Canadian school year ends in April, 6-8 weeks earlier than in the UK and it must be because of the intensity. In October alone I have 3 midterms, 3 group projects due including 2 presentations, and weekly essays for one class, not to mention the fact that I have 3 trips planned and my family are coming to Montreal, so I am going to be very stretched for time. It's intense but also stimulating, and it's pretty cool to be able to see how it works in other countries. 

I never expected it to be so different but here we are, 3 weeks in and I am already feeling the pressure. It's hard to say who wins between Notts and McGill this early on, I love them both for very different reasons and I guess only time (and grades) will tell. Check back with me in April!

Dear August

Dear August,

I'm pretty sure you were the longest month of my life! 
The month began in Cyprus, which feels like a year ago. It was the end of a perfect holiday in a new country, a country that I would love to return to in the future and discover more of. I was fascinated by the history, and for someone who hasn't done history since year 8, that is a big thing for me! I wasn't even home for 18 hours before I went back to work, and then ice skating with some work friends which was so much fun. 
The weekend of the 7th was spent with my friends in London, where we threw my bff a surprise party as we had all missed her birthday. We had such a lovely couple of days, I managed to drive us there and back without killing anyone, and the surprise was a success. 
The day after I came home from London (about 12 hours later), I was off to Geneva to be reunited with another bff. I've written a whole post about it so I won't say much, but it was one of the best trips I have ever been on and I miss it and her every day. This trip was also where I (kind of) conquered my fear of flying as I flew home alone. I'm still slightly terrified but it's nothing compared to how I was on my first flight of the Summer to Cyprus.
The 17th marked my last day working at Next after being there for 3 years. I was gutted to say goodbye but I am hoping to go back when I am home from my year abroad. It's so weird not having a job and not having to plan things around when I am working. I weirdly miss it, and I really miss the people there. 
My aunt, uncle and cousin went on holiday a week before I flew to Canada, so we went out for a meal with them so I could say goodbye. It was lovely to spend time with them, and I can't wait to see my cousin again at Christmas when she is a year older!
The 19th was such an emotional day. I had a leaving party kind of thing to say goodbye to all my friends and family at the same time. I had a really nice day with everyone, although many tears were shed (especially saying goodbye to grandparents and uni friends), but I'm so glad I got to see them all before I left! 
My mum's birthday was the 20th, so we went out for a meal and celebrated with her - and then I finally got some time to relax! Despite all the packing and stress with Visas and last minute things for Canada, I had a pretty chilled week. On the Friday, my mum, sister and I went out for the day for our last day together. We went to a gorgeous little town near where we live and I had a lovely day with my two fave women. That evening my family took me to my favourite restaurant for our last meal together. They gave me the cutest presents, and I cried a lot. 
The 26th was the day I flew out to Montreal, which is what my last post was about, and the final few days of August were spent finding my feet in Montreal. 

So August, you were pretty exhausting. You brought so many emotions, from the tears of joy I cried watching the fireworks in Geneva with two of my best friends, to the the tears of sadness I cried leaving my friends and family last week. I travelled more than I ever have before, I spent more days out of the UK than in it and I spent so much time with my favourite people. I'm pretty sure I will remember this month forever.

Welcome to Montreal!

omg, I am in Canada. I have been here four days and I'm still having to remind myself that I am actually here, and I'm staying for a year. It's been such a busy few days sorting bank accounts, phone contracts and all that good stuff, but it's also been some of the best days of my life. I've met lovely people, seen some amazing places, and I am so excited for what is in store for me here.
After landing on Saturday I made my way to my house, which is in Downtown Montreal. As a village gal, I was and still completely am in awe of the skyscrapers and the vastness of the city - it's huge. I met my housemates and we explored the city by night.
Sunday was a day of admin, but also a day of exploration. Jet lag hit and I woke up at 6am, but it meant that I had a long and productive day, we even went to Walmart which really made me feel like I was in an American TV show.
Monday was pretty chill. I got to know more people and we climbed up Mont Royal, which has the most beautiful view of the city. I've never seen anything like it, and it made me quite emotional, as this has been such a long time coming and now I am finally here!
Yesterday we had Discover McGill day, which was basically orientation. It was the most stereotypically American thing I have ever experienced but I loved it. We spent the evening at OAP (Open Air Pub, not Old Aged Pensioner), which was so cool. The food was cheap and the company was good. 

It's now Wednesday and we are planning on going down to the river this afternoon and relaxing tonight before frosh (freshers), which might actually kill me off. Classes start next week and I am really looking forward to starting and getting into my routine, as well as joining societies and getting to know more of Montreal and Canada.

In terms of feelings so far, I am loving it. The jet lag has pretty much gone, and most of my main worries haven't been a problem at all. I have met lovely people from all over the world in my house who I'm sure I will get really close to over the next few weeks and months and I'm excited to meet more on my course and at clubs. I was worried about missing my friends from Nottingham, which I do and will continue to do all year, but I'm glad to have met people here who will be there for me during this phase of my life, and I'm so lucky to now have friends back home, in Canada and around the whole world. I have some provisional travel plans which are getting me so excited, and I am already planning where to take my family when the come over in October. I am excited to start learning (although not for exams, as it seems a lot harder to do well here). There have been some slight feelings of homesickness but it's been more because I have been with my family at home since June, so i just need to get used to being away again which won't take long, I'm already pretty comfortable here. More than anything, I am feeling lucky. Lucky to be here, lucky to have a family that will support me here, and lucky to have an amazing support system both here and in the UK. Bring on the rest of the year!

Geneva

A couple of weeks ago, a friend and I were lucky enough to fly to Geneva to visit another one of our friends from uni, and I thought I would write about it on here so I can look back and remember what a great few days it was, (although this interrupts the Canada posts, sorry Hurshni it isn't chronological...)

9/8/17 - Arrival and Geneva tour 

After 2 hours sleep and a 3am start to catch a flight, we arrived in Geneva at 10am and honestly I don't think I've ever had such a long day (in a good way). We landed, were finally reunited with Riya (7 weeks is a long time, ok) and went home. I butchered a croissant, met her dog who is now the love of my life and Hurshni wore her harem pants for the first time (little did we know, they would be as much a part of the holiday as we were). We then went into Geneva, which is honestly one of the most beautiful places I have ever been - I'll let the pictures do the talking. 

Riya and I justified spending 6chf on a ride, Hurshni forgot what bonjour madame meant and mistook hand wash for hand sanitiser, I nearly fell asleep on a tram and then had a giggling fit. T'was fun. 

That evening we took Theo for a 'quick' walk. Two hours later we returned, after taking a detour to a chateau and gatecrashing some sort of gathering...avec dog. I was ready to sleep for a week and Theo never needs to be walked again but at least Hurshni got to see dusk. 

Cue bed chatz part 1, where I spent half the time in fits of giggles and the other half saying 'we are ACTUALLY in Geneva, with ACTUAL Riya, and ACTUAL Theo' before deciding I should sleep after being awake for 22 hours. 

10/8/17 - Nyon and Yvoire

Day two started with the best

omelette of my life, which I declared my love for and now "I love you omelette" has become a term of endearment within the group. 

Hurshni and I were proper tourists and took photos of everything, Riya's mum became our personal photographer and I lost count of how many times we said "omg, it's so Swiss!" We took a boat across the lake to Yvoire in France, which blew our minds because we still couldn't believe we were in Switzerland, never mind France. Yvoire was gorgeous, I still can't believe people actually

 live in such a pretty part of the world. The boat trip back was one of my favourite moments of the trip because it hit me that I was in a different country, with two of my best friends who I didn't even know existed this time last year, amazing.

That night we had bed chatz part 2, and had a chill evening to 'resthore' our energy from the busy days. Hurshni was desperate for a spoon.

11/8/17 - Gruyères and Night Out

THIS WAS THE BEST DAY! It started with me constantly questioning my outfit (a crop top and leggings is far from ideal but what can you do when it's 11 degrees, raining and all you brought was shorts?) and wishing I had packed for the weather. We drove to Gruyères and went to where they make the cheese and our immature brains found the fact that a cow lead the audio tour hilarious. We ate so much cheese - fondue, rösti, and meringue with double cream for dessert, I was in heaven. This was burned off when we climbed up to a castle and had a full on photoshoot in our very vibrant raincoats before going to a coffee shop that had questionable baby heads on the wall, but the mocha was good so I overlooked the heads.

We went home and got ready to go out, Hurshni opting to take a coat and Riya wearing long sleeves. I wore a sleeveless dress because "I don't get cold," and consequently froze my butt off all night. Despite being out for over 8 hours, we only spent about an hour in the clubs and the rest of the time we talked and walked the length of Geneva (slight exaggeration but I was wearing heels). By the time we got back to the train station we were a pair of shoes down and cafes were opening for breakfast, but the night was so worth it, definitely one of my favourite nights out ever. 

12/8/17 - Fêtes de Genève 

We woke up feeling fresh (sense the sarcasm), and didn't make it out the house until about 5pm. Hurshni's harem pants made another appearance and I finally got to wear something of my own because it was sunny. We went to the Fêtes de Genève, which is basically a massive village fete all around the lake. I ate so much good food, Riya and I spent about 30chf on rides - mems over money, am I right? - and we watched the fireworks over the lake. I cried at the fireworks because I had another moment of appreciation for my friends and felt sad that I won't be with them this year. The display was beautiful, I was genuinely in awe and I felt so lucky to be there! This was the funniest day, I remember laughing until I felt sick so many times. I fully embarrassed myself when someone asked me what I like about Geneva by answering with "um, the lake?"

I really hope the child in the pushchair is ok and the person who pooed on the portaloo seat has learnt what a toilet is...

13/8/17 - Annecy

On the Sunday we went to Annecy in France, which is a beautiful town on a lake. I had been there before but I was about 8 and obviously don't remember it. We had the most amazing lunch (more cheese), and took a pedalo out on the lake. Genuinely thought we were going to capsize a few times or be ran over by a speed boat but we survived, although my pedalling skills were not up to standard and nor were my 'getting back onto the boat quickly' skills. That pedalo trip was one of my highlights of the week, I had so much fun. Theo came with us that day so I took the best dog selfie of my life on the way home, and Hurshni said the word dusk over 20 times before performing the part of Christina Aguilera in Moves Like Jagger. That night we had my favourite dinner (all the food was insane but this night was 10/10) and had the last installment of bed chatz of the trip (without Theo, he was a bit too excited around Hurshni, wink wink)

14/8/17 - Nyon Plage and Home

This was the final day of the trip for me, I flew home at 9:30pm. I had my last love you omelette, and we went swimming at Nyon plage, which is basically a pool overlooking the lake. It was such nice weather - I really enjoyed it. Taking Theo for a walk for the last time was v sad, and I'm sure he misses our dancing in the street as much as I miss him. 

I had to say goodbye to Riya for what is looking like 9 months, and me being the wet wipe I am cried all the way to the airport, all the way through security and only stopped when I bought chocolate. 

I hope you can tell that I had the best few days in Geneva. I am so happy that I went, and I will be forever grateful to Riya and her family for having us in their house and basically giving up their time to show us around. This is a trip that I will never forget. I laughed, cried, ate so much food and felt very very lucky. I miss it already!

Canada Countdown: 10 Days to Go

Long time no see on this blog, clearly blogging regularly is impossible for me...
Truthfully I had completely forgotten about it over the Summer, as I was busy catching up with friends, working and travelling, as well as preparing for my year abroad, which is what this post is going to focus on. I think my blog is going to be centred around my year abroad from now on, as I want to document it to look back on in future.

If you didn't know, I am spending my second year studying abroad at McGill University in Montreal, Canada. This is obviously an amazing opportunity and I am super grateful to be able to do it. It has been in the works since I started university, but has only become a reality in the last couple of months. As I have spent most of the summer working and travelling, I haven't really had time to think about it, and I didn't realise how close I am to packing up and leaving everything behind. It only began to hit me when I said goodbye to one of my best friends yesterday who I will probably not see for 9 months, or 5 if we are lucky, but I don't think it will really hit until I have said goodbye to everyone and I get on the plane next week. 

With 10 days to go, I am starting to feel a bit apprehensive, but I also very excited. The thought of leaving everything I am comfortable with behind terrifies me, but the idea of meeting new people and immersing myself in a brand new place is so exciting. My emotions are all over the place and I wanted to sit down and write them out, in an attempt to get my thoughts straight.

My Fears

1.  Missing family and friends - obviously I am going to miss my friends and family, but my main worry is missing them so much that I don't enjoy myself. This year I didn't really have much homesickness, but that was because my family were all within an hour of Nottingham and easily reached. A 7 hour flight plus transfers is very different. 
2.  Missing out on memories - one of the best things about first year was the memories I made with my group of friends, and I am worried that I will feel like I am missing out on those this coming year. I will be making new memories of course, but I think that watching my group on social media and not being there will be so hard, no matter how much fun I am having.
3.  Being forgotten about - this is probably my main worry. 9 months is a very long time by uni standards, and I'm scared that I will come back and my friends will have moved on, and I will no longer fit into the group (this is such an irrational concern to have because they are literally the best people ever, but still, a lot can happen in 9 months)
4.  Hating it and wanting to leave - this was a concern when starting at Nottingham, and I loved it and wanted first year to last forever, but I feel like I can't get that lucky twice, surely?
5.  Forgetting something - this is going to happen, for sure. After every holiday first year I ended up going home the following weekend to collect things I had forgotten, I am so unorganised with packing. There is so much to remember (visas, etc) that I am bound to forget something (in fact, I just stopped writing this to order to UK to Canada adaptors...)
6.  Letting people down - this is such an amazing opportunity, and I was so lucky to have been selected to go, I don't want to let anyone down in any way. My parents are sacrificing a lot in order for me to go (it is not cheap) and I don't want to let them down by getting bad grades or just generally disappointing them in any way. I also don't want to let Nottingham Uni down by not achieving what I should.
7.  Not making the most of it - linked to point 6, I am scared that I will waste it and come home with regrets. 
8.  Not making any friends - I am not a natural when it comes to making friends, and again, I'm worried that I won't make a group of friends like the group I made this year (it will take a LOT to even match them).
9.  Flying - I am just terrified of planes, so a 7 hour flight alone is not ideal.

My Hopes

1. Making friends - this is probably the main thing I am hoping to do, else I will have a pretty miserable year. Luckily I am already in touch with some of the people I am living with, so as long as we get on in person I'm good.
2. Improve my French - Montreal is in the French speaking part of Canada, and after stopping French when I started uni, I have lost a lot of it. I am excited to regain and improve my language skills as I think it is a beautiful language. 
3. Keeping Grades Up - this speaks for itself really, I want to match my first year grades and improve on some of my modular performances. 
4. Travelling - I am probably looking forward to this the most, as I have never left Europe before. I have a huge list of places to go, and the whole of the Americas to explore. I want to visit; New York, Toronto, Quebec City, Ottawa, Vancouver, Florida, Washington DC, Maine, Chicago, LA, Seattle, Mexico, Boston, Baltimore and Niagara Falls, although I have limited $$$ won't hit them all. 
5. Matching first year experience - I was spoilt with first year, and I hope to match or even exceed it.
6. I conquer my fear of flying - if 4 transatlantic flights in 8 months can't do it, then nothing will...
7. Immersing myself in the culture - I want to leave feeling like I was as Canadian as I could have been. I want to immerse myself in their culture and take every opportunity I can (although I don't want to adopt the accent thanks)
8. Growth in myself - as cringe as it sounds, I am really hoping to grow within myself and gain confidence, as well as other skills. I want to come home happy and full of experiences that shaped me and give me something to talk about.

I have literally just let all of my thoughts flow, my head is a mess of emotions, my worries are for the most part irrational and my hopes are going to be what I strive to do. I'll check back with you 3 days before I leave, probably with a few more nerves, but hey, it's all part of the experience. I AM SO EXCITED!

Bubbles.

We all live in our own little bubbles which very few of us step outside of. Our circles change, and our bubbles may become distorted, but for the most part we stay within, safe and happy until something pops our bubble and reality hits. This week a huge number of bubbles were popped, as many people were affected by a string of events across the world. The Philippines, Egypt, Syria and Manchester have all been affected by violent, cowardly attacks. 
The events in Manchester resonated with me the most, firstly because it was so close to home, but secondly because I had been to an Ariana Grande concert just 4 days before. I had seen the audience demographic, mostly children and teenage girls, and it baffles me how anyone could target such an innocent group of people on one of the best nights of their lives. I can't shake the thought that children as young as 8 never made it home. 
This is our reality now. We live in a world where we are scared to go to concerts, shopping centres, or anywhere that may draw a large crowd. It's not just in the UK and Europe, although the Western world draws the majority of the media's attention. 29 Christians killed on their way to church in Egypt, over 100 people, including 40+ children in Syria killed in an air strike, as well as the 22 in Manchester. We are living in a time where we expect attacks like this, and wonder when and where the next one will be, never expecting it to be within our bubble but always knowing in the back of our mind that it could be. Emergency services being trained specifically for these types of attacks, workers being given designated meeting points in case of scares and children in schools because taught what to do if caught up in one. 
Fighting fire with fire is not the answer, yet that is what we continue to do. We are at war with ourselves and I fear that we won't give up until there is nothing left. I don't want to bring children into a world where I am worried every time they leave the house, where they see this as normal behaviour from both sides.
I don't want anyone to be scared to explore this wonderful world of ours, but after the events of this week I think that many people will be. It's a shame that this is our reality, and I can only hope that it improves so we can live in a world without fear, although I have a horrible feeling that I am being too optimistic with that statement, and many more innocent people will have their bubbles popped and lives ruined before change starts to happen.

Insecure or vain??

I have always been the spotty one ever since starting secondary school. I remember constantly being told "you'll grow out of it" and "everyone is in the same boat." But that was 8 years ago, and nothing has changed. I hate looking in the mirror and seeing how my skin looks, I can't remember a day of my teenage years where I was happy with my appearance, and I am 20 in five months. This isn't me attention or pity seeking, this is just something I think about constantly and wanted to write about to try and get it out of my head. 

I wish I could leave the house without spending half an hour putting make up on, trying to make my skin look better. It's got to the point where no one sees me without make up on, I'll put concealer on the minute I get out of bed so even my family don't see. My sister has the same problem, but recently she has decided to stop wearing makeup, as she has realised that she doesn't care what people think. I can only hope that one day I have the same change in thoughts, but as of right now I am constantly worrying about what people think of me and what is said behind my back. I know that when people talk to me that's what they notice, I'm pretty sure that I had some nicknames in school, and I know for sure that when people say 'which one is Holly?' the reply will be 'oh, she's the spotty one.' I feel like I am constantly compared to my friends (who are all peng/10 btw), and that means that whenever I do get a someone looking at me, or trying to talk to me, I ignore it or pie them off because they can do better.

I really don't know where I am going with this post, I just wanted to get it off my chest because I am constantly worrying about how people perceive me, do their thoughts echo mine? I know people have it a lot worse, and this is something so petty to get worked up about. I must seem so vain, but it is really hard to ignore when it has been your biggest insecurity for 8 years. My high school friends have never seen me with clear skin, nor has my little cousin or my new uni friends. It impacts my self confidence to the point where sometimes I cancel plans purely because I don't want people to see my face and I am sure that is not healthy. I want to be able to go out without make up on, or just put make up on because I enjoy doing it, not because I have to. I want to go into clubs and look like all the other girls my age, not like some 13 year old who is going through her acne stage, but I am starting to lose hope that that is ever going to happen...

Dear March...

I feel like March was set up to fail after how amazing February was, and although it didn't quite beat February, it definitely put up a good fight. 

Formal 

The month started with our halls formal, which I really enjoyed, despite only a few of our group of friends being there. It's so nice to get dressed up and eat something that you haven't made yourself, and the after party was one of my favourite nights of the year. This was also the evening that I lost "Most Likely to be Successful" to my best friend (rightly so tbh).

The following week my mum and nan came up, and we went to watch Cirque du Soleil, which was a Christmas present from my uncle. It's definitely something that I would recommend seeing, it's such a spectacular production and is like nothing I have ever seen before.

Sheffield Peace Gardens

That weekend I went to Sheffield with my group of friends which was probably one of my favourite weekends of uni, as we got to explore a different place and get away from Notts for a bit. Even though it included a sleepless night, my phone breaking and being designated driver (10/10 do not recommend taking your car to uni), I had a fab time. 

Jazz from the show

March flew by because I was so busy, and the week of the 13th was easily the busiest I have been in a long time. The dance society had our show coming up, so that week included a lot of rehearsals, as well as a social to celebrate which was so nice as I got to know a lot more people from dance. We ended up at Crisis, which is where I lost a lipstick, lost my dignity, and ended up walking home barefoot.

Baa Bar Bday Celebrations

The next day, one of my bffs turned 19, so naturally that called for more than one day of celebration. We spent her bday night in Spoons (classic), and the following night in a nice bar, which was also one of the only nights we have been out as a whole group so it was such a lovely couple of days. Unfortunately for me this happened to fall on sale weekend at work, so I was shattered but it was so worth it. Also that week, I started volunteering at a local company, which has been so interesting and rewarding so far.

#zolly take the dance show

The Theatre

The following week was full of dance, as our show was that weekend. I spent so many hours in the studio/theatre that week, but I loved every second. I was only in three dances, so it was pretty chill for me, which is a huge change to what I'm used to when it comes to dance shows! The whole production was outstanding, and the dances blew me away - I loved being part of it!

By this point in the month I was at serious risk of dying from exhaustion (slight exaggeration, but that's what it felt like), but the last week of the month was still super busy. My grandparents came up and I spent a day with them, showing them the city and the campus, which was really nice. 

I feel like I need to hibernate for a month now after being so busy, but March was deffo a success, and it breaks my heart that it was my last full month of first year, and my last full month with my bffs until third year.

The Best and Worst Things about Uni

As I have now been at uni for 6 months, I feel like I can honestly comment on the best and worst things about it, (from a first years' perspective, of course - I can imagine that third years have much bigger problems than missing their mum's cooking). Some of these are things that I noticed early on, whereas others are more recent realisations, as I feel like I am constantly learning how to function in the adult world.

The Worst Things

1. Missing Home - this is a big one for me, as although I see my family more than most people (living 50 miles down the motorway is v convenient), I do miss them. But it's not just missing your actual family, it's missing the familiarity of home, knowing that everything is carrying on without you. For example, I danced with my dance school for 15 years, and this year is the first time I will not be in their show, which breaks my heart despite having moved on from them. Towards the end of term particularly, I crave the familiarity of home. 

2. Cooking - I am not a good cook at all. My specialties include pasta, stir fry, and that's about it. Most of the time I can't be bothered to cook, and the rest of the time all I have in my cupboards is pasta, so that's all I eat. I would kill for something with a bit more taste, but unfortunately some of us are not Jamie Oliver, sigh. With cooking comes washing up, and I'm not sure which I hate more. Why don't student rooms have dishwashers?

3. Feeling subpar - This is something I have struggled with forever, and has been heightened since coming to uni, as I am surrounded by incredibly intelligent people, who, for the most part, have very different backgrounds to me, in terms of upbringing and schooling. I constantly feel like I'm not good enough to be here, and like everyone else is so much more intelligent than I'll ever be, but this is something that comes with being at such a competitive place I guess. 

4. Always Being Ill - I swear I have been ill since September. Every time I speak to my nan on the phone she asks if I have a cold again, and it took me a while to realise that no, I don't have a cold again, I never got rid of the first one.

The Best Things

1. The People - I've said it before, but I have met the most incredible people here, and I am so grateful for my friends. They are honestly the best group of people on the planet and I love them to bits. As well as my best friends, I have also met so many people away from them. I've got to know so many people on my course, through societies and at work, as well as through friends, and I feel like all of these people will be in my life forever. 

2. Learning - This sounds so cringe, but I enjoy learning, especially about things that interest me (aka not the stats module), and business is something that I love to learn about. I mean, I can't say that the accounting modules have suddenly inspired me to send my CV off to the Big Four, but I have learnt so much about different areas of business that I never would have done otherwise, and I'm sure my parents would love to hear that, to know that their money isn't being totally wasted. 

3. The Opportunities - Again, cliche but there are so many opportunities at university. I am spending next year halfway around the world, which is something I never thought I would be able to do. I've met the former Apprentice winner, been to Amsterdam, and I am taking part in a huge dance show this weekend. I wish I had taken up more at the start of the year so that I could have experienced more!

4. The Independence - Although I do miss my mum doing everything for me, I do love the independence that uni brings, whether it be eating whatever whenever, spontaneously driving to Loughborough when bored, or going out all night.

Despite all the things that I moaned about at the start of this post, uni is literally the best things ever and I am happier than I have ever been - I want this to last forever. 

 

Dear February...

I have now been at uni for 5 months, and at the end of every month I have been convinced that it has been the best month so far, but I will be very lucky to have a month that is better than February was - it was amazing. 

February started off in Amsterdam, which is never a bad place to start a month. I went with people from my course as an end of exams celebration, and I have honestly never laughed so much. Of the 4 nights we spent there, I only slept for 2, and I consumed more pizza and McDonalds than someone should in their whole life, but it was so worth it. Amsterdam is beautiful (not sure it beats my all time favourite city - Paris, but it certainly gives it some competition), and I definitely want to go back when I am not delirious from lack of sleep and too poor to do some of the tourist attractions. My highlights were definitely going to the Anne Frank House (ticked that off my bucket list), and going on a canal cruise. I honestly think that everyone should visit Amsterdam at some point in their lives. It's such a diverse city, like nowhere I have ever been before, and I promise you get used to the constant smell of weed eventually. 

When we got back from Amsterdam, we started 6 new modules in lectures, and once I accepted that I actually have to do maths again (I'm allergic to numbers), I realised that most of my modules this term are things that I enjoy, and aspects of business that I find interesting (except maths, obvs).

My sister came up midway through the month with a friend, and we gave them a tour of the campus, and then my friend and I went to dinner with them and my parents which was nice - we greatly appreciated the free food. 

Absolutely buzzing to be sat in the Dam sign

The day after that I found out that I will (hopefully, if I keep my grades up) be spending my second year abroad in Canada at an amazing University, which I still cannot believe, and probably will not believe until I am on a plane somewhere over the Atlantic. I worked so hard to get there, and I am so glad that it paid off, I just hope that it wasn't some sort of fluke and that I can do the same this term. That day was full of smiles, as well as tears, and finding out half an hour before I started work was not ideal, as I had to put my professional head on when all I wanted to do was celebrate. That night, however, we went to my favourite bar and I definitely celebrated. A couple of days after that, I got my first semester marks back, which were a lot better than I thought, and the celebrations continued, especially as all of my course mates did really well too (v proud of them). 

I spent two weekends at home in February. One to celebrate my Pap's (Grandad for all of you who don't speak Northamptonshire) birthday, which was so nice as I got to see all of my family. The other weekend I took my best friend home with me as her hometown was playing mine at rugby, and we had a fab weekend filled with trampolining, eating and shopping. I also got to catch up with some of my friends from dance and work at home, which was really nice. 

At the end of the month the baby of our group finally turned 18, so we celebrated that, which was so much fun.

As well as these personal highlights, I feel like February was a pretty good month for all of my friends too. One got a semester abroad in Singapore, one got into an amazing social enterprise and a sick internship (which may have technically been in March but I can't remember), and everyone did well in their exams, as well as other things which I have probably forgotten. I am super proud of them all. 

So, overall, it was a pretty amazing month. A lot of things happened that completely overwhelmed me, and, I just remembered that I got Ed Sheeran tickets at the beginning of the month - I know you're jealous. March, you have a lot to live up to...